Over my thirty something years of life, I've prayed many prayers, yet it's the prayers I prayed as a little girl I seem to remember best. Maybe I remember them from all the many times I prayed them. They weren't the typical children's prayers. They were more like conversations in which I would express what I would like for my life and future. The type of man I would like to marry one day. How many children I would like to have, even what color I wanted their hair and eyes to be. Other prayers were more like spoken wishes. Things I hoped for, but never expected to see realized. There was going to Disneyland, living in California (that dream came from watching CHiPs), traveling outside of my home country, and what every little person prays for, fame.
I've been incredibly fortunate to see almost everything I've hoped for, come to fruition. I married a wonderful man, who is everything I asked for and more. We had the children I had hoped for, in the order I had wished for. I have been fortunate enough to visit England, live in Germany, visit Paris, live in L.A and visit Disneyland and Disney World. Just recently, I have been able to start riding lessons, another silent wish and hope.
Today, I had another lesson, and while I was on the back of Little Man, who was feeling oh so frisky today, I suddenly realized I was doing one more thing that I had thought I would never get to do. In that moment, with my legs wobbling like jelly and my foot hurting from the strain of keeping my heel down, it dawned on me. I have a list of crossed off requests, silent wishes and hopes. I haven't done anything to deserve this. Maybe it's just keeping myself open to the idea that life can be anything you want it to be. Even when things don't go your way, or don't work out the way you had hoped, that experience leads to opening another door or opportunity for you. I certainly don't have any answers for it, but I am grateful. For all of it. The good, the bad, the ugly and the mental anguish. The "clear as day" times and the "murky as mud" times. All of it. Because it all led to me having this one moment, this one more thing that causes me to turn my face into the sun, open up my arms, smile and twirl.
There's no telling what dreams may come, if you're open to it. If you're brave enough to take a leap of faith or desperate plunge.