I cannot remember how old I was when I first fell in love with horses. I know I was very young, because it feels as though the desire to ride horses has always been with me. Unfortunately, I didn't grow up in a family who could afford riding lessons, and my copious pleas for a equine friend, fell on semi-deaf ears. Any, and every opportunity I had to ride, I'd take. As a youngster, there were but a small handful. Eventually, I accepted that I would probably never be able to learn how to ride and jump like Gonda Betrix or Anneli Wuckerpfennig.
Life goes on, but I never lost my love for horses or my desire to learn to ride. History has a way of repeating itself, and in my home it was no different. My little girl starting asking about riding. Inquiries were made and then something truly wonderful happened. The Olympics. And Mr Hiroshi Hoketsu. From the first moment I heard about him, I was awestruck. Mr Hoketsu was the oldest Olympian to compete. 70 years of age. He may not have placed very highly in the rankings, but the minute he entered that arena, he became a winner to me. Here was someone who defied the norms, worked hard and followed his passion. He was the epitome of, "You're never too old." He was the inspiration that gave me the courage to seek riding lessons as an adult. In the riding world, I am considered a "green" rider. Totally wet behind the ears and having to play catch up with youngsters who have been riding since birth. There are days, I admit, when I look at the teenagers my trainer works with and hear that little whisper, "what are you doing here!"
It's not for me to question why things work out the way they do. It is for me to embrace it though. On this journey to fulfilling a dream, I have met some wonderful people. Some have helped me and others have inspired me as much, as Mr Hoketsu did. One friend has been riding since she was quite young. I love watching her work with horses. The fluidity of her movements, the ease with which she is able to melt with her horse until they become a single entity. A team. Both learning. Both improving. Watching her train her animals is just as fascinating. With seemingly very little effort she teaches her ponies or horses exactly what it is she wants them to do. Most of the time they give it to her, without argument. But every once in a while, they dig their heels in and an argument might ensue. She never gives up, never loses her seat and always manages to stay calm. Watching her work with her horses, inspires me to want to try to aspire to become better, more knowledgeable. Then there's my trainer, Lauren Romanelli. An amazing woman who can make me feel like a million dollars even on the days when that little whisper is nagging at me. She patiently teaches, encourages and corrects. All while still taking lessons herself, because a really GREAT trainer is never done learning. They are always trying to improve their skills. Pushing themselves as hard as they push their students. I can actually feel the difference in how I am riding now compared to when I first started. She too started riding at a very young age. Unlike most kids who get to start out on ponies, my trainer had to start out on Thoroughbreds because that's all they had at the riding school she went to. Needless to say, there were many falls. After each one, she'd get up and determinedly get back on her mount. In college she studied Equine Science and has gone on to make a career out of her passion while becoming an amazing Eventer. Her love for what she does and for horses, is infectious and you can't help but feel as enthusiastic and determined when you are around her. Both these amazing ladies have inspired me to be confident. To try. To never give up. To work hard. Stay focused. Keep practising.
Which brings me to the day I had Wednesday. At the moment, my friend and I are taking care of a sweet Thoroughbred for another friend. The terms of the agreement stated that I would be responsible for keeping this sweet boy socialized and exercised. It's here that I have to digress a little. You see, as little experience as I have had with actual riding, I have never been afraid of horses. EVER. I have been kicked, bucked, been run off with, reared with, lost my stirrup and come off and still, I have never been afraid of horses. Not even the horse that may have just acted out with me. I know that there are some "monsters" out there, but I tend to believe, probably very idealistically, that even the "monsters" can be convinced to become civil, if paired up with the right rider.
Rico (the Thoroughbred), was no stranger to me. His owner and I use to ride together. I had gotten on his back once, while on a lead line, to feel what a canter felt like. On the ground, he is a real puppy dog. Follows his owner around, will do anything for treats and likes to play. The next time I tried to get on him, was after being away for a month. I had not ridden and was feeling a little nervous. Rico, being the sensitive soul that he is, picked up on my nervousness and immediately thought something must be wrong and became all twitchy, which in turn, unnerved me and thus began a vicious cycle that resulted in me getting off his back and swapping mounts with my friend. The instant I did that, I reinforced this nervousness of this horse in my heart. So even though I had access to ride a sweet, albeit, sensitive boy, I convinced myself, I couldn't. Rico wasn't being ridden much, or socialized really and we were trying to find him a new home. It's to his credit that every time someone came to look at him and ride him, he behaved well.
Still, it bothered me. I have NEVER been so afraid that I wouldn't at least try. This feeling of fear for a creature that I was fond of, just didn't sit well with me. On Monday, after thinking about who I am, who I want to be as a rider and the goals I would like to achieve, I came to a decision. I was going to get back on that horse! It's the number one rule in riding. If you get thrown off, fall off, dragged off, you have to get right back on and ride. By Tuesday, a plan had formulated, and by Wednesday, I was able to summon the needed courage to go face my "monster." I won't say there wasn't an ounce of trepidation, there was. But courage isn't the absence of fear, it's feeling the fear and pushing past it. I tacked him up, did a couple of rounds in the round pen first and then took a very BIG step and headed for the trail that leads to the south side of the farm. With each step, I felt confidence return and I could feel Rico relax. The moment of arriving on the South side was made all the more meaningful to me by having witnesses to my feat. My friend was over on the South side exercising her horses. As was my trainer. They both got to witness my exercise in courage and Rico's exercise in trust. It would be wonderful to say that Rico and I went through our paces and all was well and we lived happily every after. It would be, but it wouldn't be true. You see, in the horse world, Rico is considered to be a little "green". He is still learning how to listen and respond to cues and sometimes he still gets a little mixed up. Add a "green" rider, who is still trying to find proper form and learn how to communicate properly with her mount, and you have a recipe for mayhem. Yet, even the mayhem taught me something. Firstly and most importantly, I STILL have LOTS to learn and while confidence is important, it's never a substitute for correct riding technique! Secondly, Rico is a very willing horse. Point him at a four foot fence and he will do his best to jump it, even if you didn't mean for him to do that. He's a great little horse to ride, but he's not my horse ... and that's okay too.
On Wednesday I learnt that life is not a journey meant to be taken alone. It is filled with people, who in turn, inspire you to reach for things you might have thought unreachable, and who you, in turn can encourage and inspire. Life is full of "muses." Bright souls who cause us to reach deep down inside ourselves and find treasures we had no idea we possessed. To the muses in my life, the unfailing, sometimes, unrelenting cheerleaders, two and four-legged alike, I thank you ALL!
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
HB Heinzer - More About the Author
Below is an excerpt from an interview with HB Heinzer, the author of Bent:
I’ve been reading romance novels for over 20 years now. My fascination
started with my mother’s collection of romance novels which lined half of
one wall in the master bedroom of my childhood home. After I graduated
from high school, life began to interfere with my reading and I didn’t
read nearly as often as I would like.
When my daughter was born, we decided that it would be more beneficial for
me to be a stay at home mom. To fill the income gap, I began freelance
writing for a variety of websites and print publications. From there, I
progressed to writing blogs as a way to hang on to the pieces of myself I
felt slipping away as I filled my roles as wife and mother. Blogging
slowly morphed from a creative outlet for my writing to a way to place
another egg in my work at home basket.
It wasn't until I attending a blogging conference in 2012 that I was
overcome with the need to write a book. I'd been thinking about it since I
was 15 but it was one of those “someday” dreams. There were two speakers
at that conference who convinced me I needed to do it. Just shy of a year
later, here I am!
About The Bar...
After everything changed and Micah and Julia were no longer meeting at the
diner, I needed to get them together. What better place than in a bar?
Seemed logical enough and you would think that took care of my issues with
getting them to see one another. Not so much...
Originally, it was going to be a song on the juke box that sent Julia into
hysterics. Don’t laugh, I’ve had it happen. Of course, Julia was not going
to approach the situation like I did because she knows that running to the
bathroom makes more sense than pounding three drinks in five minutes.
The thing is, as I started writing, Julia made it clear to me that she’s
not as weak and vulnerable as I was writing her. She’s actually kind of
badass and still held a lot of anger over their breakup. She made it clear
to me that she wasn’t thrilled to see Micah but she sure as hell wasn’t
weepy either.
In the end, I like the way it came together. I feel like it showed the
real emotions that someone in Julia’s position might be facing.
If you would like to stay up to date with all the latest news and projects that HB has, you can follow her on: facebook and twitter. Make sure you visit her blog too Musings from my alcove and follow her on Goodreads
For those of you who would still like grab her book:
I’ve been reading romance novels for over 20 years now. My fascination
started with my mother’s collection of romance novels which lined half of
one wall in the master bedroom of my childhood home. After I graduated
from high school, life began to interfere with my reading and I didn’t
read nearly as often as I would like.
When my daughter was born, we decided that it would be more beneficial for
me to be a stay at home mom. To fill the income gap, I began freelance
writing for a variety of websites and print publications. From there, I
progressed to writing blogs as a way to hang on to the pieces of myself I
felt slipping away as I filled my roles as wife and mother. Blogging
slowly morphed from a creative outlet for my writing to a way to place
another egg in my work at home basket.
It wasn't until I attending a blogging conference in 2012 that I was
overcome with the need to write a book. I'd been thinking about it since I
was 15 but it was one of those “someday” dreams. There were two speakers
at that conference who convinced me I needed to do it. Just shy of a year
later, here I am!
About The Bar...
After everything changed and Micah and Julia were no longer meeting at the
diner, I needed to get them together. What better place than in a bar?
Seemed logical enough and you would think that took care of my issues with
getting them to see one another. Not so much...
Originally, it was going to be a song on the juke box that sent Julia into
hysterics. Don’t laugh, I’ve had it happen. Of course, Julia was not going
to approach the situation like I did because she knows that running to the
bathroom makes more sense than pounding three drinks in five minutes.
The thing is, as I started writing, Julia made it clear to me that she’s
not as weak and vulnerable as I was writing her. She’s actually kind of
badass and still held a lot of anger over their breakup. She made it clear
to me that she wasn’t thrilled to see Micah but she sure as hell wasn’t
weepy either.
In the end, I like the way it came together. I feel like it showed the
real emotions that someone in Julia’s position might be facing.
If you would like to stay up to date with all the latest news and projects that HB has, you can follow her on: facebook and twitter. Make sure you visit her blog too Musings from my alcove and follow her on Goodreads
For those of you who would still like grab her book:
Follow My UnEntitled Life Bent Review and Book Tour by visiting the other blogs on their day.
Feb 1st Review My UnEntitled Life 4th Tour Coupon Queen that saves the Green 5th review Safricaner 6th review Bipolar2Happiness 7th Tour Frugal Fanatics 8th Tour My Vegan Gluten Free Life 11th Tour Family Love & Other Stuff 12th Review Daydreams Book Tour 13th Review Coupons with Q 14th Review My Devotional ThoughtsEntry-Form
p style="text-align: center;">Monday, February 4, 2013
Bent by HB Heinzer - A Review
I enjoy reading, so it's never any real hardship when a friend asks me to do a review. Well, except if the book in question was badly written and even then, I soldier on to the end out of sheer curiosity to see if things improve or not. Bent has no such problem. It is well written, and the characters mesmerize you with their stories and draw you in,
The basic synopsis, without giving anything away, is as follows:
Julia moves back to Wisconsin after her life in Tennessee is totally upended. No sooner has she arrived in Wisconsin, than she remembers that things are a little messy here too. There are some unfinished matters that need taking care of, all them relating to one young man, Micah. Will she be able to find the peace and healing she had looked for .... How dramatic is that?!
It's a great little romance book. Super easy to read, and as I have said before, perfect for curling up in front of the fire with on a cold, dreary afternoon. Or, if you are fortunate enough to live in warmer climes, to lay on the beach with. If you haven't yet, you can purchase Bent on Amazon. The link gives you the Kindle edition but she does have it in old fashioned paperback too.
The basic synopsis, without giving anything away, is as follows:
Julia moves back to Wisconsin after her life in Tennessee is totally upended. No sooner has she arrived in Wisconsin, than she remembers that things are a little messy here too. There are some unfinished matters that need taking care of, all them relating to one young man, Micah. Will she be able to find the peace and healing she had looked for .... How dramatic is that?!
It's a great little romance book. Super easy to read, and as I have said before, perfect for curling up in front of the fire with on a cold, dreary afternoon. Or, if you are fortunate enough to live in warmer climes, to lay on the beach with. If you haven't yet, you can purchase Bent on Amazon. The link gives you the Kindle edition but she does have it in old fashioned paperback too.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Virtual Book Tour For New Author HB Heinzer
A friend of a friend of mine, has just recently taking the flying leap of faith, and not only authored a WHOLE novel, but then published it! Anyone who has ever tried writing or dreamed of writing, can appreciate just how amazing it is to complete a novel, from start to finish and then to have the courage to publish it and let it out into the world, well that's a whole different kettle of fish.
This little story is a great, light read. Perfect for lounging on the beach, by the pool (if you had an in-door pool) or relaxing on the couch in front of a lovely fire. If you enjoy romance stories, then I feel confident you'll enjoy this little book.
My thanks to Dina Demarest for providing the link(s) and info below for this promotion!
Here's some info about HB.
"I’ve been reading romance novels for over 20 years now. My fascination
started with my mother’s collection of romance novels which lined half of
one wall in the master bedroom of my childhood home. After I graduated
from high school, life began to interfere with my reading and I didn’t
read nearly as often as I would like.
When my daughter was born, we decided that it would be more beneficial for
me to be a stay at home mom. To fill the income gap, I began freelance
writing for a variety of websites and print publications. From there, I
progressed to writing blogs as a way to hang on to the pieces of myself I
felt slipping away as I filled my roles as wife and mother. Blogging
slowly morphed from a creative outlet for my writing to a way to place
another egg in my work at home basket.
It wasn't until I attending a blogging conference in 2012 that I was
overcome with the need to write a book. I'd been thinking about it since I
was 15 but it was one of those “someday” dreams. There were two speakers
at that conference who convinced me I needed to do it. Just shy of a year
later, here I am!"
You can follow HB Heinzer on facebook and twitter. Make sure you visit her blog too Musings from my alcove and follow her on Goodreads.
Some of my other friends has enjoyed seeing HB's progress and results. It
has made them more aware of their dreams and the direction that they want
to go in their life. If you have a dream you must try to fulfill that
dream. It should be your job. These books don't write themselves and you
can give your creativity an outlet. Hopefully your book will be as well
written as HB Heinzer's and you gain some new followers and sell some
books!
Follow my Bent Review and Book Tour by visiting the other blogs on
Feb 1st Review My UnEntitled
Life
4th Tour Coupon
Queen that saves the Green
5th review Safricaner
6th review Bipolar2Happiness
7th Tour Frugal Fanatics
8th Tour My Vegan Gluten Free Life
11th Tour Family Love
& Other Stuff
12th Review Daydreams Book
Tour
13th Review Coupons with Q
14th Review My Devotional
Thoughts
Feel free to follow
p style="text-align: center;">
This little story is a great, light read. Perfect for lounging on the beach, by the pool (if you had an in-door pool) or relaxing on the couch in front of a lovely fire. If you enjoy romance stories, then I feel confident you'll enjoy this little book.
My thanks to Dina Demarest for providing the link(s) and info below for this promotion!
Bent Review and Book Tour
Here's some info about HB.
"I’ve been reading romance novels for over 20 years now. My fascination
started with my mother’s collection of romance novels which lined half of
one wall in the master bedroom of my childhood home. After I graduated
from high school, life began to interfere with my reading and I didn’t
read nearly as often as I would like.
When my daughter was born, we decided that it would be more beneficial for
me to be a stay at home mom. To fill the income gap, I began freelance
writing for a variety of websites and print publications. From there, I
progressed to writing blogs as a way to hang on to the pieces of myself I
felt slipping away as I filled my roles as wife and mother. Blogging
slowly morphed from a creative outlet for my writing to a way to place
another egg in my work at home basket.
It wasn't until I attending a blogging conference in 2012 that I was
overcome with the need to write a book. I'd been thinking about it since I
was 15 but it was one of those “someday” dreams. There were two speakers
at that conference who convinced me I needed to do it. Just shy of a year
later, here I am!"
You can follow HB Heinzer on facebook and twitter. Make sure you visit her blog too Musings from my alcove and follow her on Goodreads.
My Bent Review and Book Tour, Bent gets a solid 5 stars.
Some of my other friends has enjoyed seeing HB's progress and results. It
has made them more aware of their dreams and the direction that they want
to go in their life. If you have a dream you must try to fulfill that
dream. It should be your job. These books don't write themselves and you
can give your creativity an outlet. Hopefully your book will be as well
written as HB Heinzer's and you gain some new followers and sell some
books!
Follow my Bent Review and Book Tour by visiting the other blogs on
their day.
Feb 1st Review My UnEntitledLife
4th Tour Coupon
Queen that saves the Green
5th review Safricaner
6th review Bipolar2Happiness
7th Tour Frugal Fanatics
8th Tour My Vegan Gluten Free Life
11th Tour Family Love
& Other Stuff
12th Review Daydreams Book
Tour
13th Review Coupons with Q
14th Review My Devotional
Thoughts
Feel free to follow
my Bent Review and Book Tour and enter below to win a $15 Amazon card and
one copy of Bent.
p style="text-align: center;">
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Home - Musings from a "Scatterling"
"Home is where the heart is." That's what the old adage says. Lately, I don't know. A heart has so many rooms and places. It is able to divide itself into different pieces. It certainly is capable of loving multiple things and people all at the same time without diminishing the intensity of the affection for each one. In my case, that would mean my home is scattered all over the place. A bit of me in England, Stuttgart, California, various places in South Africa and Tennessee. This is what I was pondering while I travelled with my family to South Africa, to celebrate Christmas with loved ones there.
South Africa is the place of my birth. She bore witness to my growing up. Provided the soil into which tender roots first found their place. She provided context for my life's journey and story; the perspective that causes me to see the world through "African Eyes." No matter how far we journeyed or roamed, whenever our aircraft would point it's nose onto "final approach" at Johannesburg, my soul would sigh and my heart would whisper, "home ...". I would feel my context return. No longer did I feel like a fish out of water - gasping for air and robbed of the color that made me, me. For whatever time I had, I would relish not having to explain things like "Eish!", "Ag, lekker man!" and "How wena!". I was back in a place were I was understood. Where the idiosyncrasies of culture and people, made perfect sense to me. It was with great anticipation that I looked forward to that sense of coming back to myself when I boarded the plane that would carry us "home." Yet, when we started our decent and final approach into Johannesburg, there was more a sense of relief at being let off this noisy, infant-filled, bad-food-dispensing, flying tin can. I put it down to the stress of traveling. However, as our trip progressed, I realized more and more that something had changed. While I was living my life, adjusting to my new surroundings and realities, the tendrils that had held my heart and soul so firmly in South Africa, had slowly been letting me go. Unable to hold on to what I was, and still make sense of where I found myself now, I had let them gently slip away, till only a single tendril of Origin remained. For a while, I thought myself to be in a kind of "no-man's land". Not possessing enough South African-ness to be truly South African, and not yet American either. My African perspective still frames my world, which can, sometimes, make integration into a new culture, challenging. Maybe I'm just always going to be a mish-mash of different cultures. Maybe that, in itself, creates something new.
I treasured every moment with every person on my trip. For some reason, totally conscious that time is not promised to us and that "Tomorrow is another day," isn't necessarily true for everything. Who knows when I'll be able to spend time with these special people again. So I drank deep of their company. Constantly aware of how I felt being with them. Taking in every moment, conversation, setting. Not wanting to engage in general conversation only, but attempting to really hear their hearts and feel the pulse of their souls. Many a moment I would stop and marvel at how very blessed I am to have the friends and family I have. These marvelous people that have all in some way or another, shaped me, challenged me, supported me, encouraged me. All of them leaving little fingerprints on my heart and footprints on my soul. Yet, when it came time to start thinking about coming back to Tennessee, I realized, for the first time, that it had become "home". The realization didn't make the farewells any easier. In fact, I found myself crying again thinking about my farewells to my parents, sisters and the their families. Yet, in the comfort of my home, at the place that has become home, I wrap myself in warm memories and love and find solace for my aching heart, once more.
*The term "Scatterlings" was borrowed from a Johnny Clegg song, "Scatterlings of Africa". I found the lyrics quite poignant and applicable to most emigrant/immigrant's experiences.
South Africa is the place of my birth. She bore witness to my growing up. Provided the soil into which tender roots first found their place. She provided context for my life's journey and story; the perspective that causes me to see the world through "African Eyes." No matter how far we journeyed or roamed, whenever our aircraft would point it's nose onto "final approach" at Johannesburg, my soul would sigh and my heart would whisper, "home ...". I would feel my context return. No longer did I feel like a fish out of water - gasping for air and robbed of the color that made me, me. For whatever time I had, I would relish not having to explain things like "Eish!", "Ag, lekker man!" and "How wena!". I was back in a place were I was understood. Where the idiosyncrasies of culture and people, made perfect sense to me. It was with great anticipation that I looked forward to that sense of coming back to myself when I boarded the plane that would carry us "home." Yet, when we started our decent and final approach into Johannesburg, there was more a sense of relief at being let off this noisy, infant-filled, bad-food-dispensing, flying tin can. I put it down to the stress of traveling. However, as our trip progressed, I realized more and more that something had changed. While I was living my life, adjusting to my new surroundings and realities, the tendrils that had held my heart and soul so firmly in South Africa, had slowly been letting me go. Unable to hold on to what I was, and still make sense of where I found myself now, I had let them gently slip away, till only a single tendril of Origin remained. For a while, I thought myself to be in a kind of "no-man's land". Not possessing enough South African-ness to be truly South African, and not yet American either. My African perspective still frames my world, which can, sometimes, make integration into a new culture, challenging. Maybe I'm just always going to be a mish-mash of different cultures. Maybe that, in itself, creates something new.
I treasured every moment with every person on my trip. For some reason, totally conscious that time is not promised to us and that "Tomorrow is another day," isn't necessarily true for everything. Who knows when I'll be able to spend time with these special people again. So I drank deep of their company. Constantly aware of how I felt being with them. Taking in every moment, conversation, setting. Not wanting to engage in general conversation only, but attempting to really hear their hearts and feel the pulse of their souls. Many a moment I would stop and marvel at how very blessed I am to have the friends and family I have. These marvelous people that have all in some way or another, shaped me, challenged me, supported me, encouraged me. All of them leaving little fingerprints on my heart and footprints on my soul. Yet, when it came time to start thinking about coming back to Tennessee, I realized, for the first time, that it had become "home". The realization didn't make the farewells any easier. In fact, I found myself crying again thinking about my farewells to my parents, sisters and the their families. Yet, in the comfort of my home, at the place that has become home, I wrap myself in warm memories and love and find solace for my aching heart, once more.
*The term "Scatterlings" was borrowed from a Johnny Clegg song, "Scatterlings of Africa". I found the lyrics quite poignant and applicable to most emigrant/immigrant's experiences.
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| My Rock and Roots |
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| Me and Patricia |
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| My Second Family |
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| My Inspiration :) |
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| The Keeper of My Secrets :) |
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| Lara and I - A friend indeed! :D |
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| Wes, Anth and I - The one who reminds me who I am! |
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| My cousins, sister and brother-in-law. Without which there is no party! |
Sunday, November 11, 2012
On Finding Balance ...
The wonderful thing about finding something you are passionate about is the thrill you get from doing it or even just being around it. It's so easy to immerse yourself to the exclusion of all else, and even, everyone else. Some folks think if you're truly serious about something, then that's the only way to be. To some extent, I do agree. For example, if you enjoy motor racing, and you want to compete at national level, sometimes, even local level, you're going to have to put in the hours of practice to hone your skills to be able to compete.
The last couple of months have been quite a journey in trying to find the balance between the thing that brings me so much joy and the responsibilities I have as mom and wife and friend. For a while, I happily let myself get lost in my passion to the exclusion of everything else. As anyone can tell you, when your life becomes unbalanced, the road starts getting really bumpy (to use our car analogy). The children start remarking on your frequent (and prolonged) absences, your home starts being invaded by "Thing 1" and "Thing 2", and everyone knows what a house looks like when they've been to visit! Family pets start reacting to you as if you're a complete stranger and friends begin to wonder if you were abducted by techno friendly aliens who allow you to post Facebook statuses as you feel need to. Significant Others become quietly resentful at getting whatever time you have left, instead of the best you have. You find yourself making all manner of compromises in order to make time for your passion. For some, all this might seem admirable and an indicator of dedication, and maybe it could be. To me, it slowly became a point of anxiety.
Life has a way of talking to you, though, if you'll listen. It starts with a quiet whisper, a little word of caution from a friend, a off hand remark from a stranger, a song on the radio. Little messages letting you know that you need to make a decision. Add in a crazy month of preparation, entertaining, birthdays, and unplanned dental emergencies, and you suddenly find yourself in a position where you are forced to prioritize. And prioritize not in the way you'd like. Everything that had been bumped to the bottom of my "To-Do List" suddenly HAD to be dealt with - NOW. At first I panicked. Afraid that I would lose the thing I held so dear. In the situation I was in, there was nothing I could do. Don't you just love when Life insists on teaching you something.
The crazy whirlwind that has been my life the last four weeks or so, is finally calming down to a coastal gust, as it were, and while I would love to report that nothing has really changed, that wouldn't be true. I learnt that even in pursuing your passion, it is important that you never forget the people who were there for you before you found that spark. When Life says, "Not now," it's not saying "Never." I have managed to find some balance in all this. A schedule that works for me. Accommodates the whole person I am now and not merely fragments of me. And yes, an outlet for my passion as well. Maybe not in the way I envisaged or planned, but maybe what I had envisaged wasn't what I needed right now.
The last couple of months have been quite a journey in trying to find the balance between the thing that brings me so much joy and the responsibilities I have as mom and wife and friend. For a while, I happily let myself get lost in my passion to the exclusion of everything else. As anyone can tell you, when your life becomes unbalanced, the road starts getting really bumpy (to use our car analogy). The children start remarking on your frequent (and prolonged) absences, your home starts being invaded by "Thing 1" and "Thing 2", and everyone knows what a house looks like when they've been to visit! Family pets start reacting to you as if you're a complete stranger and friends begin to wonder if you were abducted by techno friendly aliens who allow you to post Facebook statuses as you feel need to. Significant Others become quietly resentful at getting whatever time you have left, instead of the best you have. You find yourself making all manner of compromises in order to make time for your passion. For some, all this might seem admirable and an indicator of dedication, and maybe it could be. To me, it slowly became a point of anxiety.
Life has a way of talking to you, though, if you'll listen. It starts with a quiet whisper, a little word of caution from a friend, a off hand remark from a stranger, a song on the radio. Little messages letting you know that you need to make a decision. Add in a crazy month of preparation, entertaining, birthdays, and unplanned dental emergencies, and you suddenly find yourself in a position where you are forced to prioritize. And prioritize not in the way you'd like. Everything that had been bumped to the bottom of my "To-Do List" suddenly HAD to be dealt with - NOW. At first I panicked. Afraid that I would lose the thing I held so dear. In the situation I was in, there was nothing I could do. Don't you just love when Life insists on teaching you something.
The crazy whirlwind that has been my life the last four weeks or so, is finally calming down to a coastal gust, as it were, and while I would love to report that nothing has really changed, that wouldn't be true. I learnt that even in pursuing your passion, it is important that you never forget the people who were there for you before you found that spark. When Life says, "Not now," it's not saying "Never." I have managed to find some balance in all this. A schedule that works for me. Accommodates the whole person I am now and not merely fragments of me. And yes, an outlet for my passion as well. Maybe not in the way I envisaged or planned, but maybe what I had envisaged wasn't what I needed right now.
Monday, October 29, 2012
Getting "Hair" Done ...
I have never had much luck with finding two things which really work for me. A gynecologist and a good hairdresser. As any lady will tell you, or maybe not, it's important to have folks who know what they are doing in these two fields. A bad visit with either one of these professionals can really sour a girl's day. Since moving to Tennessee, I have not had much luck in with finding professionals in either one of these fields that survived more than one or two visits from me. That is until today. Today, I am cautiously optimistic, I may have found a hair stylist! For years I have suffered through folks who are good at their jobs, but not very good at listening to their clients. Or sometimes they are so very good at their jobs that they don't feel it necessary to give the client anything of what they ask for. After all, they know better! For years now, I have sat in the stylist's chair, told them what I wanted and had to walk out making peace with whatever style they deemed would look best on me. A few months ago, I wanted a pixie cut, but the stylists shook her head and replied, "I don't see you with something that edgy. You would look better with soft layers." The problem was, I had had soft layers for years! I wanted something different! What the poor woman didn't know, and couldn't know, was that the twenty stylists before her had said the exact same thing. Well, with the exception of one who nodded when I explained to her what I wanted done and then simply did what she wanted to do anyway. Soft layers. Today, was different. I walked into the salon armed with a picture of what I wanted done. To make sure that it would look good on me, I had gone through the trouble of downloading an app that allows you to see what a style or hair color would look like on you before you attempt to wear it. I confidently pulled out my phone and showed her what I wanted done. My arguments were neatly lined up and ready to go, my resolve was ... well ... resolute! She looked at my picture and exclaimed with glee, "Oh yay! This is going to be so much fun!" That was NOT the reaction I expected. Out came the foils and a metric tonne were applied to my head. Next, it was time for me to bake ... under the dryers I went. Just when I feared becoming all crispy, I was whisked out and whirled into the comfy chair at the basin where some rather foul smell stuff was smeared on my hair. Rinse, condition, massage, rinse and pat dry. Marched to the chair where my stylist seemed to bouncing from one foot to the other in anticipation. A gleeful giggle and then she got busy. First the scissors then the razor. An hour later, I was whirled around again and I almost cried! Happy tears. Finally I had exactly what I wanted and it looked GREAT!
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