Virtual Book Tour For New Author HB Heinzer

A friend of a friend of mine, has just recently taking the flying leap of faith, and not only authored a WHOLE novel, but then published it!  Anyone who has ever tried writing or dreamed of writing, can appreciate just how amazing it is to complete a novel, from start to finish and then to have the courage to publish it and let it out into the world, well that's a whole different kettle of fish.

This little story is a great, light read.  Perfect for lounging on the beach, by the pool (if you had an in-door pool) or relaxing on the couch in front of a lovely fire.  If you enjoy romance stories, then I feel confident you'll enjoy this little book.

My thanks to Dina Demarest for providing the link(s) and info below for this promotion!

Bent Review and Book Tour

Here's some info about HB.

"I’ve been reading romance novels for over 20 years now. My fascination
started with my mother’s collection of romance novels which lined half of
one wall in the master bedroom of my childhood home. After I graduated
from high school, life began to interfere with my reading and I didn’t
read nearly as often as I would like.
When my daughter was born, we decided that it would be more beneficial for
me to be a stay at home mom. To fill the income gap, I began freelance
writing for a variety of websites and print publications. From there, I
progressed to writing blogs as a way to hang on to the pieces of myself I
felt slipping away as I filled my roles as wife and mother. Blogging
slowly morphed from a creative outlet for my writing to a way to place
another egg in my work at home basket.
It wasn't until I attending a blogging conference in 2012 that I was
overcome with the need to write a book. I'd been thinking about it since I
was 15 but it was one of those “someday” dreams. There were two speakers
at that conference who convinced me I needed to do it. Just shy of a year
later, here I am!"


You can follow HB Heinzer on facebook and twitter. Make sure you visit her blog too Musings from my alcove and follow her on Goodreads.

My Bent Review and Book Tour, Bent gets a solid 5 stars.

Some of my other friends has enjoyed seeing HB's progress and results. It
has made them more aware of their dreams and the direction that they want
to go in their life. If you have a dream you must try to fulfill that
dream. It should be your job. These books don't write themselves and you
can give your creativity an outlet. Hopefully your book will be as well
written as HB Heinzer's and you gain some new followers and sell some
books!

Follow my Bent Review and Book Tour by visiting the other blogs on
their day.

Feb 1st Review My UnEntitled
Life

4th Tour Coupon
Queen that saves the Green

5th review Safricaner

6th review Bipolar2Happiness

7th Tour Frugal Fanatics

8th Tour My Vegan Gluten Free Life

11th Tour Family Love
& Other Stuff

12th Review Daydreams Book
Tour

13th Review Coupons with Q

14th Review My Devotional
Thoughts

Feel free to follow
my Bent Review and Book Tour and enter below to win a $15 Amazon card and
one copy of Bent.

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Home - Musings from a "Scatterling"

"Home is where the heart is."  That's what the old adage says.  Lately, I don't know.  A heart has so many rooms and places.  It is able to divide itself into different pieces.  It certainly is capable of loving multiple things and people all at the same time without diminishing the intensity of the affection for each one.  In my case, that would mean my home is scattered all over the place.  A bit of me in England, Stuttgart, California, various places in South Africa and Tennessee.  This is what I was pondering while I travelled with my family to South Africa, to celebrate Christmas with loved ones there.

South Africa is the place of my birth.  She bore witness to my growing up.  Provided the soil into which tender roots first found their place.  She provided context for my life's journey and story;  the perspective that causes me to see the world through "African Eyes."  No matter how far we journeyed or roamed, whenever our aircraft would point it's nose onto "final approach" at Johannesburg, my soul would sigh and my heart would whisper, "home ...".  I would feel my context return.  No longer did I feel like a fish out of water - gasping for air and robbed of the color that made me, me.  For whatever time I had, I would relish not having to explain things like "Eish!", "Ag, lekker man!" and "How wena!".  I was back in a place were I was understood.  Where the idiosyncrasies of culture and people, made perfect sense to me.  It was with great anticipation that I looked forward to that sense of coming back to myself when I boarded the plane that would carry us "home."  Yet, when we started our decent and final approach into Johannesburg, there was more a sense of relief at being let off this noisy, infant-filled, bad-food-dispensing, flying tin can.  I put it down to the stress of traveling.  However, as our trip progressed, I realized more and more that something had changed.  While I was living my life, adjusting to my new surroundings and realities, the tendrils that had held my heart and soul so firmly in South Africa, had slowly been letting me go.  Unable to hold on to what I was, and still make sense of where I found myself now, I had let them gently slip away, till only a single tendril of Origin remained. For a while, I thought myself to be in a kind of "no-man's land".  Not possessing enough South African-ness to be truly South African,  and not yet American either.  My African perspective still frames my world, which can, sometimes, make integration into a new culture, challenging.  Maybe I'm just always going to be a mish-mash of different cultures.  Maybe that, in itself, creates something new.

I treasured every moment with every person on my trip.  For some reason, totally conscious that time is not promised to us and that "Tomorrow is another day," isn't necessarily true for everything.  Who knows when I'll be able to spend time with these special people again.  So I drank deep of their company.  Constantly aware of how I felt being with them.  Taking in every moment, conversation, setting.  Not wanting to engage in general conversation only, but attempting to really hear their hearts and feel the pulse of their souls.  Many a moment I would stop and marvel at how very blessed I am to have the friends and family I have.  These marvelous people that have all in some way or another, shaped me, challenged me, supported me, encouraged me.  All of them leaving little fingerprints on my heart and footprints on my soul.  Yet, when it came time to start thinking about coming back to Tennessee, I realized, for the first time, that it had become "home".  The realization didn't make the farewells any easier.  In fact, I found myself crying again thinking about my farewells to my parents, sisters and the their families.  Yet, in the comfort of my home, at the place that has become home, I wrap myself in warm memories and love and find solace for my aching heart, once more.

*The term "Scatterlings" was borrowed from a Johnny Clegg song, "Scatterlings of Africa".  I found the lyrics quite poignant and applicable to most emigrant/immigrant's experiences.

My Rock and Roots

Me and Patricia

My Second Family

My Inspiration :)

The Keeper of My Secrets :)

Lara and I - A friend indeed! :D

Wes, Anth and I - The one who reminds me who I am!

My cousins, sister and brother-in-law.  Without which there is no party!

On Finding Balance ...

The wonderful thing about finding something you are passionate about is the thrill you get from doing it or even just being around it. It's so easy to immerse yourself to the exclusion of all else, and even, everyone else.  Some folks think if you're truly serious about something, then that's the only way to be.  To some extent,  I do agree.  For example, if you enjoy motor racing, and you want to compete at national level, sometimes, even local level, you're going to have to put in the hours of practice to hone your skills to be able to compete.    

The last couple of months have been quite a journey in trying to find the balance between the thing that brings me so much joy and the responsibilities I have as  mom and wife and friend.  For a while, I happily let myself get lost in my passion to the exclusion of everything else.  As anyone can tell you, when your life becomes unbalanced, the road starts getting really bumpy (to use our car analogy).  The children start remarking on your frequent (and  prolonged) absences, your home starts being invaded by "Thing 1" and "Thing 2", and everyone knows what a house looks like when they've been to visit!  Family pets start reacting to you as if you're a complete stranger and friends begin to wonder if you were abducted by techno friendly aliens who allow you to post Facebook statuses as you feel need to.  Significant Others become quietly resentful at getting whatever time you have left, instead of the best you have.  You find yourself making all manner of compromises in order to make time for your passion.   For some, all this might seem admirable and an indicator of dedication, and maybe it could be.  To me, it slowly became a point of anxiety.

Life has a way of talking to you, though, if you'll listen.  It starts with a quiet whisper, a little word of caution from a friend, a off hand remark from a stranger, a song on the radio.  Little messages letting you know that you need to make a decision.  Add in a crazy month of preparation, entertaining,  birthdays, and unplanned dental emergencies, and you suddenly find yourself in a position where you are forced to prioritize.  And prioritize not in the way you'd like.   Everything that had been bumped to the bottom of my "To-Do List" suddenly HAD to be dealt with - NOW.   At first I panicked.  Afraid that I would lose the thing I held so dear.  In the situation I was in, there was nothing I could do.  Don't you just love when Life insists on teaching you something.

The crazy whirlwind that has been my life the last four weeks or so, is finally calming down to a coastal gust, as it were, and while I would love to report that nothing has really changed, that wouldn't be true.  I learnt that even in pursuing your passion, it is important that you never forget the people who were there for you before you found that spark.  When Life says, "Not now,"  it's not saying "Never."  I have managed to find some balance in all this.  A schedule that works for me.  Accommodates the whole person I am now and not merely fragments of me.  And yes, an outlet for my passion as well.  Maybe not in the way I envisaged or planned, but maybe what I had envisaged wasn't what I needed right now.

Getting "Hair" Done ...

I have never had much luck with finding two things which really work for me.  A gynecologist and a good hairdresser.  As any lady will tell you, or maybe not, it's important to have folks who know what they are doing in these two fields.  A bad visit with either one of these professionals can really sour a girl's day.  Since moving to Tennessee, I have not had much luck in with finding professionals in either one of these fields that survived more than one or two visits from me.  That is until today.  Today, I am cautiously optimistic, I may have found a hair stylist!  For years I have suffered through folks who are good at their jobs, but not very good at listening to their clients.  Or sometimes they are so very good at their jobs that they don't feel it necessary to give the client anything of what they ask for.  After all, they know better!  For years now, I have sat in the stylist's chair, told them what I wanted and had to walk out making peace with whatever style they deemed would look best on me.  A few months ago, I wanted a pixie cut, but the stylists shook her head and replied, "I don't see you with something that edgy.  You would look better with soft layers."  The problem was, I had had soft layers for years!  I wanted something different!  What the poor woman didn't know, and couldn't know, was that the twenty stylists before her had said the exact same thing.  Well, with the exception of one who nodded when I explained to her what I wanted done and then simply did what she wanted to do anyway.  Soft layers.  Today, was different.  I walked into the salon armed with a picture of what I wanted done.  To make sure that it would look good on me, I had gone through the trouble of downloading an app that allows you to see what a style or hair color would look like on you before you attempt to wear it.  I confidently pulled out my phone and showed her what I wanted done.  My arguments were neatly lined up and ready to go, my resolve was ... well ... resolute!  She looked at my picture and exclaimed with glee, "Oh yay!  This is going to be so much fun!"  That was NOT the reaction I expected.  Out came the foils and a metric tonne were applied to my head.  Next, it was time for me to bake ... under the dryers I went.  Just when I feared becoming all crispy, I was whisked out and whirled into the comfy chair at the basin where some rather foul smell stuff was smeared on my hair.  Rinse, condition, massage, rinse and pat dry.  Marched to the chair where my stylist seemed to bouncing from one foot to the other in anticipation.  A gleeful giggle and then she got busy.  First the scissors then the razor.  An hour later, I was whirled around again and I almost cried!  Happy tears.  Finally I had exactly what I wanted and it looked GREAT!

The Joys of Traveling on a Green Passport

South Africans are a proud lot.  We love our country.  Yes, it's a mess and horribly dysfunctional, but it's our mess and dysfunction.  We can talk bad about it all day long, and we do, but don't let anybody else say anything mean about the place.  Them is fighting words!  We love our flag.  We may not pledge allegiance to it, but we like that we have all the colors of the rainbow in ours.  Okay, I exaggerate, we don't have ALL the colors of the rainbow, but we do have most of the colors of every other flag known to mankind all collated in our little flag.  Our national colors, when competing internationally is green and gold, not to be confused with Australia's gold and green.  And man!!  Are we ever proud of those colors!  Springboks, Proteas, BafanaBafana, it doesn't matter what name you call us, we are proud.  Even when we don't do too well.  We are still proud.  The only time the Green and Gold becomes a real pain in the ... bottom, is when it relates to our passports.  Yes, our passports are dark green with gold emblazed coat of arms.  It actually looks super stylish, however, no one else seems to think so.  Or at least, when traveling, you don't get credit for having a stylish looking passport.  When folks from other countries see our beautiful green and gold passport they immediately tell us to get visas.  It doesn't matter where you might want to travel as a South African, you WILL need a visa.  It started in the Apartheid years as a form of sanctions.  Post apartheid, it hasn't be lifted.  It would appear that we are still not trustworthy.  What I find ironic is that our passports have this little blurb in the front which basically says that the bearer of the passport is granted free travel anywhere and that our passports should be accepted as proof that we are free to travel.  I think an amended blurb needs to be written which says, "Dear Citizen, Yes you have a passport which should enable you to travel, but unless you are traveling on the continent of Africa (and even then), expect to have to get Visas for every place you wish to visit."  I know most Americans and British folk have no idea what the big deal is, because they have passports (albeit slightly less stylish) which truly DO grant them entry into any country they wish to visit.  The exceptions to that rule, are so few, and usually include places that most tourists would rarely want to visit anyway, that they hardly bare mentioning.  However, on a South African passport, I have to buy a visa every time I wish to travel to ANY where.  Yes, I did say buy.  You fill out a long application form and then you have to send in a "processing fee."  These can run the gamut of $80 to a whopping $141 for my recent UK tourist visa application.  Yes, that's $141 for a visa for a visit that is only going to last 7 hours.  Did I mention that South African passports are also subject to the latest fad in travel documentation:  The Transit Visa.  Yes, now even if you are merely traveling through a place, you need a visa.  No, you will not be leaving the airport, merely landing at a place that would normally want you to have a visa if you were going to visit.  However, you won't be visiting because you will be going from one gate to the next to continue on your journey, but you still have to fork out the bucks for a transit visa for the privilege (or inconvenience) of doing this.

I also find it rather interesting that most countries that are subjected to Visa requirements are poor.  Some are also the "black sheep" in the international community.  Although,  I had hoped that South Africa would have made it off the international black list by now, but apparently not.  So no matter how proud I may be of the Green and Gold, when it comes to my passport, it's a drag.  An expensive drag.  And an insulting drag:  I mean, I need a visa to visit Mexico, for Pete's sake!  Really?!

Countries can have whatever excuse they want for requiring visas:  security being the biggest argument.  Another one being trying to deter folks from illegally immigrating.  You know, overstay your visa.  Problem is, desperate folks still do that.  I know that is one of the reasons why Britain insists on South Africans having visas. Why not have a rigorous passport application processes that guarantees that people that are issued with passports are "good" citizens and trustworthy and therefore can be trusted to travel abroad to any country they want without requiring the extra expense and stress of visas.  What I find ridiculous about the whole process at the moment is that at some point I will be applying for American Citizenship.  At that point I get issued with a Navy blue passport, and "poof" suddenly I go from being untrustworthy and suspicious to being completely trustworthy.  I haven't changed.  I am the same person.  Just the travel document I use is different.  That's how ridiculous the whole thing is!  There has got to be a better way to do these things that isn't financially crippling, ridiculously invasive (I had to send in copies of pay stubs for my UK visitor's visa) and time consuming (processing times can be ridiculous depending on where you are applying from and where you want to go).  I understand countries want to make a little bit of money off of tourists, but then be honest about it and charge a entry tax and levy it on EVERYONE.  That seems more fair.  

A Review: The Magic of Belle Isle

I had seen a trailer for this movie a while back and had thought it looked "kinda interesting". It seemed to have all the elements needed to be a sweet, safe, family movie. Three adorable sisters, ranging in age from teen to Kindergartener; a creative and wise mom, trying to pick up the pieces of her life, post divorce; a sweet young man, who is mentally delayed and likes to bunny hop everywhere and his eccentric mother, who also is an accountant. Throw in an alcoholic author with writer's block and a vocabulary that made me envious, and you have the makings of a story that runs the gamut of coming of age, to comeback story, to love story, to "THEY CAN NEVER TAKE AWAY OUR FRRREEDOM!" motivational story.

I learnt the importance of seeing what's NOT there as a writer. To be fearless when telling a story. Incorporate from your experience, but make it something different. It reminded me how hard it was to understand my mother as a teen. How hard I was on her and what a powerful impact the realization that she too was a girl once, had on me. Just how we never truly know, or understand, the effect we have on others lives when we simply live ours. Regardless of how sad and low or empty we may see ourselves.

So many times we focus on what we don't have, didn't achieve, couldn't or can't do and attach our worth and "usefulness" to that. We measure the space we consume here in this life based on that. Oprah deserves so much because look at how large her life is. I'm not as important, so I'll just stick to my sofa. She can touch lives and change situations because she's Oprah. I 'm just poor little me. No money, no influence, no life. We forget that the Oprah's of the world didn't start big and powerful. They became that way over time. No, I don't believe we are all destined for fame and fortune, but I do believe that we ALL have something to offer in life. Something that makes us different and can help others in meaningful ways. Sometimes a smile affects more powerful change in a person's heart than a million dollars ever could. Sometimes the right word spoken at the right time can launch people into brand new adventures and life trajectories. Those things are just as important and meaningful. Being brave enough to be who you are, courageous enough to touch other lives just through our daily "living life" routines, brings color to people's lives as well as meaning to our own. And that is the message I heard from "The Magic of Belle Isle".

Well worth the time ...

When Mommy Strikes ...

So I found an interesting article today that I wanted to share with everyone.  It's interesting because I have similarly tried this experiment, to much the same result.  The progeny (and sometimes, the spouse) are all good for a while, and then slowly but surely everyone reverts back to their "forgetful" ways.    I was lucky enough to have a cleaning service for a few months, which helped to give me a day off during the week.  But not everyone can afford that, even for a little while.  Which means, that for us moms to have the respect we deserve from our families, we have to regularly insist on it.  No nagging necessary.  Just gentle reminders followed by natural consequences (no breakfast cereal bowls available for breakfast if no-one takes their dishes to the kitchen).  I like my home to be clean and organized, but part of being a parent is that I teach my children how to be responsible for themselves as well.  Cleaning up after yourself, whether it be taking a dish to the kitchen, cleaning up the bathroom after you used it, bringing down towels to be washed so that you have towels to dry yourself with again, are all part of that learning process.  It also teaches you to have respect for those you share space with.  Whether we are work outside the home moms, or work in the home moms, we all deserve to have at least ONE day where we don't have to be responsible for cleaning up after someone else.  It's okay to have a day off.  To relax and let others take care of us.  It doesn't mean we are failures or weak or wimps.  It means that we, like everyone else on this planet, function best when we have had time to rest.  Enjoy the article .... and make some time for yourself!